Jack is a bit of a hoarder.  I think I’ve mentioned this before.  Not as bad as those people on the cable reality show, Hoarders, thank goodness.  But, we can’t invite anyone over to the house for dinner because only half the dining room table is available and there’s nowhere to sit in the living room.  Well, if the guys come over to play board games, Jack will find places for them to sit.  But he just transfers his crap to another section of the house to make space.

Jack’s mother broke the washing machine several weeks ago.  You need pliers to turn it on now.  The dryer works but makes funny noises.  The fridge in the kitchen keeps freezing the lettuce and it gets really full with 3 people using it.

Jack decided to buy a new fridge since he had to buy a new washing machine.  Then, we waited weeks for the fridge to arrive.   The day before the appliances are due to arrive, Jack tells me I need to move things out of the entry way so we can squeeze the fridge into the kitchen.  4 hours before the appliances are due to arrive, Jack finally measures the doors to the kitchen and discovers they’re not wide enough.  He announces a new plan.  The fridge will come in the porch door which is wide enough.  The porch door is not reachable as Jack piled cardboard box after box in front of it.  You know, in case he needed a box to ship something.  I rarely see him ship anything though.  My job is to reach the porch door through the back kitchen door because the porch door is bolted from the inside.  I soon discover a majority of boxes are broken down, so I haul those out to the recycling area.  Fighting my way through the boxes, I find enough recyclable items to fill 3 large recycling bins and a carton of partially mummified eggs.  They’re so old the stench is long gone, only a faintly putrid odor rises out of the bag.  We figure the eggs sat on the porch for about 10 years.  Upon reaching the porch door, it slides open easily, no bolt in sight.   Of course, any burglar attempting to open it would be buried in boxes anyway.

The new fridge barely fits through the back kitchen door and the old fridge requires us to take the doors off to get it out the door.  I love my new fridge.  The new washing machine doesn’t work, but it looks cool.  The repair guy is due out tomorrow.

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About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

2 responses »

  1. Cute story. Love the part about any burglar getting bombarded by boxes. Sounds like my house!!

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