The OhMyGod series, Episode 25

My Does This Happen to You moment this week involved JJ and Jack.  JJ crawled up beside me in bed, and laid on Jack’s pillow.  Jack asked JJ to move so he could get into bed.  JJ refused.  Jack then pushed JJ over as he climbed into bed.  JJ ended up smashed between us with our faces within licking distance.  Jack and I received dog kisses.  JJ still refused to vacate the bed, instead lying between us, paws in the air.  All 55 lbs of him.  My dog isn’t spoiled, no.

And now for more hairy moments (in audio), with OhMyGod, from the Drunken Cyclist, a blog right here on WordPress.

The OhMyGod Series, Episode 24

My Does This Happen to You moment today is listening to Benny work on his new squeaky toy for 10 minutes straight.  10 minutes of continuous, unending squeaking,   JJ quietly chewed on his squeaky toy, he doesn’t like Benny’s constant squeaking any more than we do.  Jack just took the toys away and we all breathed a sigh of relief, including JJ.  A little squeaky toy is not bad, continuous squeaky toy gets on your nerves.

To take my mind off squeaky toy mania, here is Episode 24 of the OhMyGod series, from the Drunken Cyclist blog, right here on WordPress.

The Chute that Eats Clothes

Its laundry day.  Jack assists me in changing the bed sheets and I toss them down the laundry chute.  Upon arrival in the basement laundry room, I discover the enormous wicker laundry basket empty.  Its not unusual for the sheets to hang up in the chute but I paid close attention to not bunching them up.  They usually flow smoothly down the chute that way.  Tromping back up 2 flights of stairs, I grab the broom and shove the handle down the chute to dislodge the sheets.  The next trip down 2 flights finds only the pillow cases in the wicker basket, not the sheets.

This problem calls for a flashlight.  I shine the light down the chute to discover the sheets stuck fast at the corner.  I pick up the broom and shove the handle down farther into the chute.  I hear the whooshing sound of the sheets sliding all the way down.  Just to be sure, I shine the light into the chute.  But what is this?  Looks like a piece of cloth hanging at the corner.  I poke it with the handle but it refuses to dislodge.

I travel 1 flight of stairs down to the kitchen where chute access is possible and shine the light up.

The Maw is open

The Maw is open

At least one piece of clothing hangs on the edge where the chute straightens out.  I stick my hand up to my shoulder up the chute and gently grab the clothing.  Turns out its two of Jack’s sleeveless T shirts which he has not missed.  This proves he has too many of those T’s.  Sticking my head in the chute reveals my blue bra.  Now that I would miss.  More gentle tugging and the chute gives up all its victims.

This leaves me with only one known victim of our laundry system, a pink wash cloth.  Its still missing and presumed dead.

The OhMyGod Series, Episode 23

My Does This Happen to You moment was working with a new filmmaker this last weekend.  He did not break down the script into the shots he needed.  He thought actors couldn’t say more than a few lines of dialogue at a time.  The lead actor acted as shot adviser and the supporting actors, me and two others, chimed in if it appeared we’d go entirely off the rails.  We survived but Cedar the dog was traumatized.  We used the supporting actress’ house for the filming location.  The scene called for lots of yelling and Cedar the family dog ran away down the street every time the yelling began.  We did several takes.  The actress’ husband chased down Cedar after every take to bring her back safely.

And now, here is The Drunken Cyclist’s Does This Happen to You moments while leading a cycling tour group through the Champagne region of France.  You will find the Drunken Cyclist’s blog right here on WordPress.

The OhMyGod series, Episode 22

My Does This Happen to You moment this week concerns piddling, as in Benny peeing on his brother once again.  Jack and I had the boys out for a walk on Monday and Benny let fly.  Right in JJ’s direction.  We yelled at Benny and tried to move JJ, but Benny moved too and hit JJ again.  Benny is the most indiscriminate shot around.

Let’s move on from piddling to Episode 22 of the OhMyGod series, from The Drunken Cyclist, a blog right here on WordPress.

The OhMyGod Series, Episode 21

My Does This Happen to You? moment of the week is getting mosquito bites on location for a feature film where I play the local drug lord’s mom.  Those mosquitoes wanted a piece of my behind and they got it in spades, right through my clothing.  I have huge itchy welts in a really bad place.

To lighten the mood and give me something to think about other than scratching unmentionable parts, we have Episode 21 of the OhMyGod series, from the Drunken Cyclist, a blog right here on WordPress.

The Valkyrie in the Park

I’m lucky.  The spot I need to be at has a tree.  Normally its not this hot, in the upper 80’s, in June in Seattle.  My tan resembles dirt (if I get one) or more likely I burn and peel and stay lily white.

I plunk down my umbrella as I won’t need it and its a pain to carry around.  I adjust my gown with the gold trim, and red cape.  I sit my horned hat on my head and I’m ready to teach a song to the accountants.  No matter I have never taught a song to a group before, much less accountants, I’m still rearing to go.  Must be the adrenaline rush.

I’m a “plant” in a team building game.   No teams are in sight.  While waiting, I people watch in the busy park and go over the song in my mind. And take a selfie which I don’t do often as you can tell.

goddess

People stare at me with curiosity but keep on walking.  A dog comes by and says hello.  His master follows behind and hesitates.  No, he decides he’s not going to ask me why but he’d like to.

I see my first team of accountants in the distance, a gaggle of students all wearing the same T-shirt.  One of them spots me.  I do stand out, a Valkyrie under a tree.   To my surprise, they pick up the tune to Dream a Little Dream quickly, the words not so quickly.   One looks up the lyrics on her phone and we’re off until we can’t find a passerby who wants to be serenaded. After a minute or two, we corral someone and the team brings it off, even adding hand gestures.  I’m feeling flush since it turns out I chose an easy tune to learn.

While waiting for the next team, a woman approaches me and asks why I’m dressed like that.  I respond I’m part of a team building exercise, a Nordic goddess down from Valhalla searching for song birds.  The teams of accountants don’t qualify as song birds but they’re coming lots closer than I thought.

She asks to take my picture and I smile for the camera.  She is the only person to ask out of the hundreds who walk by.

The OhMyGod series, Episode 20

We’ve made it to Episode 20 for OhMyGod, from the Drunken Cyclist, a blog on WordPress, thedrunkencyclist.com.  Its back to Paris although the adventures with OhMyGod are not over, not in the least.

And here is the latest Does This Happen to You moment in biking in France.

My Dog’s Bathtub Fetish

Benny brings what is left of Mr. Squirrel into the bathroom.   My boys don’t waste dog toys.  Mr. Squirrel may be mostly deceased but his tail is his toughest part.   That tail survives all the tossing the boys give it.

All That Is Left of Mr Squirrel

Benny unceremoniously throws the tail into the bath tub and looks up at me expectantly.  He wants me to throw it for him to chase after, I think.    I’d like to ask him why he used the tub but I’m brushing my teeth.   He’s an impatient guy and wanders off before I have a chance to pick the tail out of the tub.

Its a mystery why the tub is suddenly interesting.  He finds the bathroom tiles cool so lays on them most hot summer days.   Only a week ago, I noticed him gazing into the tub.   A few days later, he crawled in.

Benny Looking out of Tub

I bathed him out on the lawn on Monday and found him here after his bath.  He’s confused.

Benny in Tub

I explained the tub was for bathing not after the bath.  But he’s just a dog who feels safe and cool in a tub.  And the old tub is rarely used by the humans in the household so a few more dog hairs won’t make a difference.

The OhMyGod Series, Episode 19

My cycling “Does This Happen to You?” moment this week is the ominous squeak in the tricycle.  I sprayed the back gears with lubricant the week before but the squeak persists.  I only wrapped the dog leash around the back wheel twice and I removed it promptly.  Well, the first time it took me about 15 minutes but only 5 minutes the last time.  Jack will be home next week and I will certainly get a lecture on destroying equipment.  To my credit, I didn’t destroy the first tricycle with the dog leash, he did that.  I did destroy two lawn mowers and damaged the second trike when I fell off it.  I recovered but the second trike is still a bit wonky.

Here is Episode 19 of the OhMyGod series, from the Drunken Cyclist, a blog right here on WordPress, thedrunkencyclist.com.  Cycling adventures much funnier than mine.