Introducing, Does This Happen to You? the series

I’m excited to announce Does This Happen to You, the series, debuted on Channillo, a subscription service, today.

Here is the link,

Channillo features all sorts of serial stories, in all genres, for a very affordable fee.

And they’re looking for writers, so if your writing is in the serial vein, give them a pitch.  There is a link right on the site for writers to apply.

Most of my Does This Happen to You? posting will be on Channillo for now.

Does This Happen to You? on Scriggler

Thanks for reading my blog here on WordPress. Lately, I’ve posted my blog posts on other sites like Scriggler and Medium.  On Scriggler, 4 of my posts reached All-Star status with over 600 views.

It’s likely I will quit posting here since I reach a wider audience on Scriggler and other sites.

Here is a link to my latest post on Scriggler,, my life as a dog escort.

I will keep reading your posts, sharing and maybe asking to narrate them.  My podcast is growing again, thanks to some promotion by Podbean, adding it to the Stitcher lineup and Google.

Thanks again for being my follower and appreciating my writing!

Dumbbell Abuse

It began as a twinge in my left thigh, a slight ache. I ignored it. My workout consisted of chest presses and triceps’ extensions, all upper body buff stuff. My thigh wasn’t involved.

I was wrong.  I involved my thigh. The next day, the ache turned into excruciating pain when I bent forward in any way. Getting into the car yielded screams of pain and getting out of the car, nothing.

I could sit, stand, stretch my left leg out flat with no problems, but bending down caused shooting pain up and down my leg. To top it off, I had no idea how I pulled that muscle.  That muscle being the vastis intermedialis according to my personal trainer.  Yes, it vastly hurts intermittently for sure.

I’m a gym rat so considering how much time I spend there, I actually have few injuries. I mysteriously injured my knee on an elliptical trainer machine about 5 years ago. Then about 6 months ago, I strained another thigh muscle. No clue on the name of that one. My trainer fixed that in 5 days with special stretching exercises.

An article in the online edition of men’s fitness says injuries at the gym are up 35%. The most vulnerable bits for men and women are ankles, knees, back, and shoulder. No thighs. Well, I am the odd man out, aren’t I?

Flipping through more learned articles on injuries yielded a few differences between men and women. Men tend to attempt to lift too much weight. I give the men at the gym who resemble a mini-Hercules a wide berth. They lift huge weights testing their mettle and often suddenly drop them. Warning signs include a beet red face and clenched teeth.

Women wear ridiculous shoes, like high heels and then ballet flats. Those kill your knees and your feet. At my age, I just settle for unfashionable or I use my secret weapon, special inserts.

How did I injure my thigh? The only thing which comes to mind is carrying 40lbs of weight while getting up or laying down on the bench. I’ve dead lifted 150lbs yet simply picking up 40lb wrong is deadlier.

I still cannot bend over at the waist.  I squat or stick my left leg out behind me as I bend over. It’s a minor annoyance at this point. I wonder which bits of me I’ll manage to injure next. Given my record, it’s not likely to be the most vulnerable parts.

Handling Extroverts

At the snack table during the women’s networking workshop this morning, a tiny white- haired woman approached me.  She snagged a portion of a bagel and slapped cream cheese on it, saying she was splurging.

She attended one of those health fairs a week ago and they insisted she was 20 pounds overweight.   She asked me,”do I look overweight”?

Wow.  My expectations of this networking didn’t include talking to complete strangers about their weight at 11am in the morning.  I said no, and she blithely continued talking, about a new subject. I just smiled and nodded. This is my best method for handling extroverts.

I don’t dislike extroverts but their enthusiastic, in your face attitude is scary.  It’s like being dragged by a horse. You don’t want to be in that position but the horse won’t stop.

My friend, an avid networker, and social media butterfly encourages friends on Facebook to comment on posts, not just like them.  She’s an extrovert, too.  She’s a dear, but with no concept of how difficult it is for an introvert to interact on Facebook.  I’m happy when my friends like my posts, comments are not necessary.  To her, the extrovert, it’s rude not to comment.  To me, the introvert, it’s 5 minutes of agonizing over what the heck to write.

I heard introvert and extrovert have a new relation, ambivert.  Most of us are on the spectrum somewhere between true introvert and true extrovert.  Turns out I’m an ambivert, leaning heavily toward introvert.

I don’t like labels but an ambivert meter sounds good to me. Everyone wears one.  The meter tells you today Bob is leaning into introvert territory so you understand why he’s not talkative.  Jill’s meter says she a true extrovert so you’re ready for the onslaught.

From Shit Kicking to Runway Prancing

A short history of cowboy boots

If you’ve watched the fashion news lately, you’ve noticed this absurd look, double cowboy boots. The fashion industry managed to invent footwear more ungainly than a stiletto. Unlike a stiletto, this boot makes your feet look big, not your butt.

You’ll never run wearing these things, either.  Not that you’d want to.

I grew up wearing cowboy boots because I rode horses. I couldn’t get out of them fast enough once I got off the horse. They were for riding, not comfortable to walk in.

Just how did the cowboy boot get from working tool in the 1800’s to runway fashion?

The story begins in the cattle drives of the mid-1800’s and mass production. Cowboys needed cheap boots because cattle drives ate up boots. And cowboys weren’t rich. Mass production stepped in, producing high top boots (high shaft) for an affordable price. The one-inch heel prevented boots catching in the stirrup during unexpected exits from the horse. The high shaft kept ticks, sagebrush, and rattlesnakes at bay.

The 20th century brought the modern rodeo to town. Ropers needed a boot to ride and run in, and so the roper’s boot was born.  With a lower heel and shorter shaft (no more high top), the rodeo cowboy walked and ran easier in them. How I have no idea.

Rodeo grew in popularity, from a grubby, dusty back lot to indoor arenas. Everyone, including the cowboys, wanted to look upscale.  Boots manufactured from exotic leathers, like alligator, supplied that look.

After the 1970’s, country music moved mainstream along with urban cowboy movies. Looking cool in line dancing clubs demanded appropriate boots; for dancing, not steer wrestling. The cowboy boot upgraded to a fashion statement, with new accouterments such as lower shaft with shiny stuff on it.

I admit to owning a pair, the low shaft with shiny faux metal dots kind. I didn’t buy them. My partner got them on sale, as a gift for me. I couldn’t explain they brought back memories of horse shit, dust, and sore feet. So, I wear them in the fall and spring in the Pacific Northwest where I live. They’re good for kicking snails.

Shopping Cart Jockeys

The shopping carts jockey for position at the light, all eager to get a jump on it when the light goes green. One bears “The Donald” likeness on its basket, in orange and white.  Another is painted black with a skull and crossbones in white bolted to its basket.

I cover my ears as the light goes green and the carts scream away, jet engines pulsing. The age of oil is coming to a close and fast light carts which use little fuel are the rage. Once considered a novelty, and invented by a gear head in the UK in 2016.  They’re now the preferred transport in the 22nd century.

In the 22nd century, everyone shops online now for groceries and other stuff. So we had all these shopping carts lying about, rows upon rows of them. And very little oil to run cars, even small cars.

But shopping carts are even smaller, and that basket holds lots of your stuff including your kids.  And they’re fast with a jet engine strapped underneath.

NASCAR is gone but SHOPCARX is going strong. The well-known basket sponsors are among the largest retailers in the world, like Amazon, Victoria’s Secret and Wal-Mart. Fans screams for their favorites as the brightly decorated carts rattle around the track.

Pit stops are only allowed for engine trouble, broken wheels, and major dents.  The last cart with the fewest dents still running at the end of the day is the winner.  Shopping cart jockeys such as Quick Shop Sara and Tiny Wheels Tara are idolized like YouTube stars.

With only motorcycles, scooters and shopping carts on the road, and mandatory helmets most accidents are minor basket benders.  Citations most often issued are for speeding as that jet engine just goes to driver’s heads.  Those are followed by citations for gaudy unstable decoration, over stuffing the basket and CUI (carting under the influence).

The incidents of stuff flying out onto the road increase exponentially.  Fines are stiff for littering but still the sides of the road remain clogged with underwear, lingerie and sparkly stuff. Just last week, I took a thong to the helmet.

Unfaithful, Naughty and Cheat Wants You

I received some interesting scams this week but didn’t reply.

The new social site, BeBee, gets lots of profiles with pictures but no information about the person. A couple of “no info in profile” guys followed my profile.  Like a dummy, I followed back. I need to stop that.

The first follow netted me a reply through the site which required me to email them at the given address because they have a job for me processing payment for their company. I passed on that because I didn’t want to give them my email address.  And the job offer is roundabout ways to drain you dry by getting your bank account information.

I chuckled at the come on, after I followed the other guy without a complete profile. He claimed I could make 9 million dollars taking part in a business proposition if I’d just reply using the email address he provided.  Wow, 9 million!  I didn’t bother to email to find out how much he wanted me to invest because 9 million just screams scam.   And obviously, any money you send him is like flushing it down the toilet.  You will never see it again.

I like inventive scammers and they’re lackluster lately.  No fun to be had trying to figure out the scam.

A look through the spam on my email account turned up the 2 most used scam lures, sex, and money.  Unfaithful, Naughty and Cheat wants you to click on the link provided so you have a good time.  No way am I clicking that link to see a good time.  It’s a phishing scheme but gets points for the imaginative email address.  MaxCarLoan wants to know if I need extra spending money for the holidays.  Yes, I do but what does holiday spending have to do with car loans?  Max gets minus points for the poor link between email handle and phishing subject. Penny Stock Tips says You CAN make money on penny stocks.  According to an Internet search, you actually can. But only if you’re very, very careful and don’t click on Penny Stock Tips. The rest relate to enhancing your body parts or hooking up with cougars or pretty girls from Russia.  Do people really believe this stuff?  They must as it keeps arriving in my inbox.

Loaded Bratwurst

Gun control advocates are hailing the new law just passed as a major step in gun violence control in America. Since 2015, the last 20 years meant escalating gun violence in the US.  Now in 2035, all citizens fear for their lives when they walk out the door.

The law’s chances seemed slim last month, when the Republicans and Libertarians staged a sausage fest on the floor of the House.  But then, a running gun battle between police and convenience store robbers armed with AK-47’s on the Mall took a piece of Lincoln’s nose off at the Lincoln Memorial. Public outrage then fueled passage of the bill and signature by the President.

The details of the bill are a bit sketchy at this point. Sausage as a weapon is new to the US. It’s typical mostly in Germany and Austria.

The bill supposedly enacts sweeping gun reforms but enforcement remains a big question.  Local police may be expected to take the lead.  Most say they’re familiar with the types of sausage to be handed out and how to use them.

The main reform targets anyone with anger management issues, including road rage, and the slightly kooky. Anyone applying for a gun permit that falls into these categories during a polygraph test will be issued a sausage instead of a gun.

The preferred sausage is a “brat” which is American for bratwurst. Jagers are available for those preferring a harder, leaner sausage. Metal rings on the sausage ends are permitted for defensive purposes and ease of carry.

The reforms apply to gun shop owners, gun shows and online sales.  Shows and online sites are not happy about the polygraph tests. But most like the smell of sausage and worry a bit about their waistline with that much sausage hanging around.

Word out of Germany and Austria indicates car denting likely to increase and more bruises during altercations due to those metal rings.  Hand to hand with sausages expected to increase apprehension rate, as police need only give their canine officer a whiff of brat for tracking.

NRA is considering a new name, National Rifle and Wurst Association, NRWA.

Men in Painted Nails

It’s gone too far. The latest trend in nail art is Swiss cheese nails. No, I’m not talking real Swiss cheese, that smelly stuff.

The latest fad is drilling holes in the nail job which cost you a week’s worth of lattes.  You can go cheap and just blot a little polish remover to simulate holes, to be honest. But if you desire your nails to sport the latest fashion, real holes it must be.

This obsession with sparkling toes and long faux painted nails is madness to me. I feel ashamed when I’m out and about in my unpainted toe nails and bare fingernails. I’m not sure how long I can fight the urge to slap polish on my toes.

I’m way out of whack with human history on this.  The ancient Egyptians and Chinese painted their nails.  The Chinese invented nail polish. By the way guys, you’re out of whack with human history too. The Egyptian and Chinese men also painted their nails.  In Egypt, black represented the power color.

It’s amazing how fashion changes over the centuries.  A man with black nails owned the power 3000 years ago.  Today, he’s just Goth.  Guys in Babylonia went all out before a battle with curls and nail color.  One had to look their best before being slaughtered. Nail painting for both men and women continued into the 1800’s. Then cowboys and John Wayne arrived.  Men and painted nails parted ways.  But not always curls, General Custer sported curls and manly swagger.

Nail art turned into serious art in the 21st century. The designs are intricate and beautiful. For me, that’s a lot of trouble to go to for art which breaks and grows out so quickly. Just call me extremely rational.

I grew up on a ranch, shoveling horse shit and riding horses. Gloves adorned my hands most of the day and broken nails happened, a lot. Now, I garden and gloves adorn my hands while out.  I spend most days glued to my laptop’s keyboard and my typing is crap with short nails.  Forget typing with long nails, never work for me.

Toenails are another story.  I’m too rational for toenail art.  But some polish will make them less homely and me a bit more fashionable.

Fetch the Money

I took a week off from interacting with scammers. They were in the news though.  The scammers bamboozled by their own virus when they infect their computers with it.  At least, that’s what security researchers with a weird sense of entertainment say. The researchers watch the dollars flying into Nigeria as they follow the virus trail. The infection begins the wire-wire scheme, fondly known as “fetch the money”.  The malware sniffs out employee emails containing financial transactions and wags its tail when it finds them. The scammers hijack the transaction. The long arm of international law doesn’t reach very far and employees like to download intriguing stuff, so the scammers keep throwing that ball in the newest game of fetch.

A pizza box huddling under an airplane seat caused the evacuation of a plane. Just as the plane finished loading, the box acted suspiciously, peering out from under the seat. The crew and passengers exited the plane quickly. The bomb sniffing dog brought on to the plane quickly identified the box as left over pepperoni and cheese, with no sausage. The dog received a treat for his fine work but not the left over pizza, a disappointment. The box, now identified as trash, was unloaded off the plane.

A trend in India is not likely to catch on, putting cow shit on the back of your cell phone to dampen the harmful radioactive waves coming off it.  A cult leader in India claims he protects himself this way and recommends it to his followers. It’s definitely a way to prevent anyone from borrowing your phone. The cult leader claims it only works with Indian cow shit so we’re out of luck in other parts of the world. After short consideration of that thought, we’re actually lucky as who wants to be around anyone with cow shit on their phone.

Cockroaches in a small town south of Seattle are appealing for calm.  They admit to being a bit dirty and creepy to have around, but use of a homemade flame thrower against them is overkill.  The guy in apartment B decided to rid himself of the pesky creatures using an open flame.  He pointed aerosol bug spray at them, then flicked open a lighter underneath the spray. The flame thrower missed the roaches but caught his possessions square on. Some possessions proved flammable and burst into flames. The roaches and unlucky roach killer suffered a bit of smoke inhalation.