This week gives up not one but three stupid criminals. The first robbed a few convenience stores, without covering his face. The camera captured great pictures of him. A concerned citizen saw the video on the news and promptly turned her son into police. She quickly answered the question “Do you know this man?” with a firm “Yes, that’s my idiot son.”
Police in Louisiana picked up their escaped convict at the local bar after he called to turn himself in. He downed a beer while waiting for them. They paid his tab and back to jail he went. His week on the lam did not live up to expectations. He says he will miss the beer, but in jail he doesn’t have to pay for food. The accommodation is a step up from the homeless shelter, too.
A kebab shop robbery averted by indecisive criminal in New Zealand. Owner claims he simply ignored the guy with a gun standing behind the counter. Robber claims he’s shy and lets the gun talk. When neither the gun nor the store owner spoke, he changed his mind, deciding against a kebab and the money.
Tour De France cyclist punches guy wearing neon yellow feathered hat. The pink banana running just behind witnessed the entire incident, calling it a game of chicken the yellow hat lost. For their part, the cyclists ask the costumed fans to give them space. They’re fine with young ladies in string bikinis getting a little closer. This request doesn’t include guys in blonde wigs and one piece suits.
Florida woman attempts to drive and pray at the same time and local house suffers the consequences. While communing with God, she careened through a stop sign, up and over the side walk and into the side of a house. Women claims God said, “Look out for the house”, although too late for her to stop. She tried to leave the scene but her wheels stuck in the sand. She claims God told her the house belonged to non-believers so it was okay to flee.
Her oven broke, so a woman in Tennessee attempted to cook her brisket in the bathtub over an open flame. She claims her recipe simply said, “Roast until melting and brown”. Firefighters broke the news the recipe worked for the fiberglass tub which turned out perfectly. After they turned off the shower and the smoke cleared, the brisket remained red and wet.