Robber violates 3rd and 4th rules in book, Bank Robbing for Dummies and pays the price.  A guy in Texas robbed a bank, took off in his yellow U-Haul before the police arrived and then ran out of gas a few miles away.  He was apprehended while strolling along not far from the truck.   The 3rd rule clearly states a fast dark colored car gassed up is required for a successful heist.  The 4th rule states in the case of the getaway car breaking down, you need to not dally in the area but remove yourself as quickly as possible.  Clearly Bank Robbing for Dummies is a bit over this dude’s head.

The latest in interstellar news is a Moo Freighter losing control and crash landing on Mars.  The pilot is not seriously hurt but his load of cows is thoroughly shaken up.  The cows released a cloud of methane.  The light speed safety board suspects the pilot of flying under the influence.    No equipment malfunction is detected.  The pilot is known for over indulging in Moo juice and suspected of going over the warp drive limit of 8 that close to a planet. In related news, the 3rd planet from the sun picked up the methane surge and is baffled by it. The safety board considers that good.  The worry is the planet will launch one of their tinker toy space probes and gum up the shipping lanes. The last one caused a 3 light year back up.

Woman advertises sofa and her boobs with just a few taps. A beauty therapist who wanted to get rid of her white corner sofa published several photos of it on the local buy and sell page along with a photo of her boobs framed in purple lace.  This resulted in lots of propositions and no offers to buy. Please double check you’ve checked the correct photos before uploading especially if your device is used for sexting.


About kriskkaria

Hi, I'm Kris. A narrator, actor, voice actor, and writer. I've impersonated a cat, a prince, a princess, a witch, a madwoman, and a president with my voice and narrated/produced over 40 audiobooks. I narrate and produce an award-winning weekly storytelling podcast showcasing stories from fantastic writers. Visit my IMDB page for stage and screen credits.

2 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    maybe the sofa sale was a buy one get one free deal?

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