Dr. Art I. Fishal reports personal robots are poised for a major breakthrough. The recent discovery that snails use two neurons to make major decisions enhanced robot research significantly.
Dr. Fishal claims he used a slightly higher level of intelligence to model his robot after, a seagull. Namely, the seagull who fell into a vat of Tikka Masala. The bird possesses a few more neurons than a snail and was easy to obtain. The clean up facility is just down the road from his lab. After many months of arduous work, Dr. Fishal presented his prototype. Admittedly, there are a few kinks to be worked out.
His robot is strangely attracted to the color orange and stands outside Indian food restaurants for hours. And when serving food, the robot is polite, offering up snacks on a tray. But then suddenly changes its mind, grabbing snacks off the tray, repeating the word, “mine”.
In other news, the Batmobile is currently parked on a Chicago street, illegally. Sporting a large red sticker, the city is attempting to locate the owner. A call out to the Joker resulted in only laughter and a bad joke about the Dark Knight being in the red. Cat Woman was cleaning up and indisposed for hours.
A brave citizen suggested searching the registration database for DarkKnightOne. This search and a few phone calls located the owner, Mr. Kowalski. The embarrassed owner, Bruce Kowalski, a Batman enthusiast, promptly moved his pride and joy. Mr. Kowalski paid a small fine and promised to keep his bat presence off the street permanently.
Life and Befuddlement 
I love your droll humor.
Thank you so much!
batman never had these issues in the gotham city
I know, Chicago is just such a hassle.