God-spots and Grave spots

According to the BBC News, churches in Germany are setting up God Hotspots.  Now you can attend church, pray and browse the web, all in one safe and secure place.  Churches are guaranteeing security, and only a little plug for the faith.  No word on whether your texts to God will be answered.

In related news, graveside Wi-Fi is now available in the most visited cemeteries around Moscow.  You can visit your deceased Natasha, and browse for flowers for her.  You can search the web for memories of dearly departed Uncle Boris and be totally surprised by the warrant for his arrest issued 20 years ago.

I once wrote a story about your skeletal bits on display.  According to News of the Weird, your inner bits will soon be on display.  Researchers at the University of Illinois passed high speed digital data through slabs of meat, streaming the movie, Ravenous, with HD quality.   Soon you will swallow a transmitter allowing doctors to drive through your inner bits.   I can hear the office of the future conversation.  “Hey Jerry, can you keep the beeping down.   Sorry, Ben.  It’s my 12pm check up.  It will only be a minute or two.  I’m scheduled for the new fast and furious transmitter; it only beeps for 30 seconds.”

Daily Mail reports global warming blamed for record number of shark attacks.  Global warming gets the blame for so many things.  The logic is hotter temps lead to more people in the water which leads to more bodies for sharks to attack.   The sharks did weigh in on this, calling the logic ridiculous.   They requested people not swim in their end of the pool and if nothing else, wear a “Human, Yuck!” sticker on their arms and legs.  People taste bad, and that taste just keeps coming up for days.

Radio Free Europe reports sausage wielding extremists attack a vegan café.   Meat lovers entered the café, wearing Knackwurst necklaces and armed with ribeye steaks.  The meat lovers then started a small barbecue with cigarettes.  The café is a non smoking area and when reminded to extinguish their barbecue, a brawl ensued.  Vegetables and sausage bits flew into the street along with meat lovers and café patrons.    By the time police arrived, all the brawlers had fled.  Police reported they had a really nice meal on the leftovers.

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