Jack shakes a large rectangular piece of plastic in front of my face. “Do you know what this is?” He asks. I’m like, no. “It’s one of those plastic cutting boards,” he says. “I found it stuck 6 ft up in our pine tree.”
Really, our huge pine tree is catching crap that flies by. Why can’t it catch something useful? I don’t like plastic cutting boards and now I have a free one. I balk at using it. I don’t know where it came from. Jack washed it but still, just look at it.
I wonder if the wind anywhere else picks up kitchen accessories and tosses them into a tree. A search of the Internet turns up nothing. This is my singular Does This Happen to You moment. The items arborists find in trees are mostly nails, stones and wire. I figure people or birds are responsible for that. Golf balls show up. The wind may be responsible or just a golfer with terrible aim. One arborist claims he pulled thong underwear out of a tree. That has to be the wind or a crow with a fetish.
We had 45 mph winds that day. Maybe if we have gale force winds our tree will catch a new stove or a Cuisinart. I’d love either of those.
Life and Befuddlement 
ooh, who knows what treasures will blow your way?
I’m hoping not any thongs.