I clamber on to the bus, flick my pass in front of the reader and come up against a line of riders standing in the aisle.  Shit, I’m stuck.  I gaze longingly at the back of the bus, where 2 seats are open.   Isn’t it nice riders choose to stand and not use those seats.  But park their body in the aisle so I have to crawl over them to obtain those seats.

I hate standing on the bus.  The bus is the place to read emails or use your calorie counting app.  I cannot do any of these things, while being flung about every time the bus stops and starts.   Other riders are braver than me, holding their phone in one hand while holding the top rail with the other, their phone and body waving in time with each jerk of the bus.

As more riders enter the bus, I steadily creep toward the back of the bus.  I excuse myself as I wind around the standing riders, enduring dirty looks as I brush past them.  Hey, stand if you like but I want one of those seats, dude.  I commandeer a seat in the back, flanked by two other riders, not happy I’m crowding their area or poking them with my bag.  I’m happy, able to work on my phone without worrying about face planting in the bus aisle.

Kris’ bus etiquette: Please sit if there is an empty seat.  If the person sitting next to you smells funny, feel free to stand.   Offer another standing rider your seat.  They may like the way that person smells.  Do not park your dog, your over stuffed shopping bag or your oversized backpack in the middle of the bus aisle.   Your dog does not want to dance with other riders and other riders do not want to tango with you and your baggage to get off the bus.

Sit picture for Sit-Please

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About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

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