I walk out to water my tomatoes in their topsy turvy bags and discover my almost ripe big beautiful tomato missing.    Then I spot it.  Its been plucked by animal and gnawed on!  I waited several weeks for that tomato to get ripe.  Darn.  I pick the other nearly ripe ones hanging close to the ground, so they can ripen in safety in the house.  I gaze at the gnaw marks and wonder if its a raccoon or possum.  Both these varmits roam the neighborhood.

The next day, I bring my little video camera outside to take pictures of my perfect jalapenos.  The tomato is half gnawed at this point.  Some animal really likes that not quite ripe tomato.  I begin my video of the jalapenos closest to the tree trunk.  The jalapenos are in a multi-hole bag with strawberry plants.   As I step to the east to get video of my jalapenos hanging over the grass, an object appears in my peripheral vision near my foot.   I look down.   Its a dead rat!  I scream and do the dead rat dance, that horrified mincing step.  My tomato is rat gnawed!  All the fuss attracts JJ’s attention and he tentatively approaches for a closer look at the corpse.   I wave him away so I will not get any dead rat spiked dog kisses.

 

Tomato and Rat Death Scene

 

I gather my wits and sigh.    Jack would tell me to dump the body in the yard waste bin.  I imagine the stench and opt for burial.  Digging the hole takes twice as long as planned due to tree roots.  I gingerly pick up the stiff body with a shovel and dump it in the  hole along with the half eaten tomato.

 

Are tomatoes bad for rats?  The body and half eaten fruit are only 8 feet apart.  Is it a coincidence?  Could my tomato really be the killer or just the last dessert of a poisoned rat?

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About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

8 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    yikes! he must be italian with his love of fresh tomatoes right off of the vine )

  2. Louise says:

    He’s Ratatouille. 🙂

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    You should have buried the rest of the tomato with Mr. Rat, ha ha!

  4. As soon as I read “Killer Tomato” the song from the movie went straight to my head.

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