I loved this post, so I thought a bit about the arrival of the shoes’ owner at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter: Welcome to Heaven. Before I let you in, I have some instructions.

Shoe owner: Oh man! I lost my shoes. I paid $200 for those shoes!

St. Peter: Stop right there! The little woman in white doesn’t like to leave those who overly value material things into Heaven.

Shoe owner: Little woman in white? I was expecting a big guy in white.

St. Peter: Oh boy, you do not want to go down that road. Anyway, I have lots of souls to process so we need to move along here.

Shoe owner: Ok….

St. Peter: Now, I have you down for 6 months in Heaven and 6 months in Hell. We’ll check you in to Heaven first. Hell tells me they’re totally on fire right now.,…they do have a weird sense of humor.

Shoe owner: What did I do to deserve 6 months in Hell?

St. Peter: Littering. The little woman in white is a real neat freak and you left your lunch crap on the sidewalk along with your shoes.

I'm curious about People

I was brought up short by the sight of a pair of shoes. And I was trying to figure out why.

They were lying there on the pavement, in front of a bench, downtown, complete unto themselves but bereft of human.

Post-Rapture Shoes 1 copy sharp

Who leaves a perfectly good pair of shoes, unlaced on the ground? And leaves on the bench, a flattened box, possibly from some gourmet takeout place? And a napkin, used and crumpled and dropped?

The lady sitting at the other end of the bench might have known, but I can’t ask her picture.

Here’s what I think. Some man finished his lunch… and the Rapture came. See how one shoe is right side up and the other is right site down?

Half of him went to Heaven, and the other half went to Hell.

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About kriskkaria

Hi, I'm Kris. A narrator, actor, voice actor, and writer. I've impersonated a cat, a prince, a princess, a witch, a madwoman, and a president with my voice and narrated/produced over 40 audiobooks. I narrate and produce an award-winning weekly storytelling podcast showcasing stories from fantastic writers. Visit my IMDB page for stage and screen credits.

4 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    love the dialogue )

  2. Mwa ha ha! Kris, I absolutely LOVE this. Thank you for reblogging and thank you for your hilarious dialog.

    “Now, I have you down for 6 months in Heaven and 6 months in Hell. We’ll check you in to Heaven first.”


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