The note book, box of muffins and light bulb package sit on the edge of the checkout lane, not on the belt, just on the metal edge of the belt.  The notebook is a grocery list half in English and half in a language I don’t recognize.  I look around for the owner.  The woman with a beehive hairdo ahead of me is almost checked out and no one else is in the checkout lane.  The items are in clear view of the woman and she’s sporting the extra smoky eye look to accompany her hairdo.  It never occurs to me the items might belong to her and I’m afraid to ask anyway.  I figure someone forgot to get something on their list and left their stuff to go get it.

I load my items on the checkout belt and walk ahead as the cashier begins scanning my groceries.  I open my checkbook and watch the screen for pricing errors.  Al l the sudden, the notebook lands with a thud next to my checkbook and the light bulbs go into my bag.

The notebook isn’t mine and neither are those light bulbs, I tell the cashier.  He looks dumbfounded.  The woman who is now behind me in the checkout line says, “I thought they were yours, so I put them on the belt.”

Now, I’m dumbfounded.  Really, she couldn’t ask, “Are these yours?”  I glance at her, a little miffed.  I’m approachable in my tennis shoes, sweat pants and sweatshirt.  Doesn’t everyone go grocery shopping dressed like this?  At least I don’t have my bright blue and green sweat pants on.

I look back to see the cashier taking the light bulb package, muffins and the tomatoes out of my bag.  I quickly say, “The tomatoes are mine.”  He looks even more confused but does put the tomatoes back in my bag.

I get my bags packed on to the cart and go over my slip for errors.  He charged me for white Yukon potatoes when I had red potatoes and broccoli when I have broccoli crowns.  That means I didn’t get the special pricing.  I’m about to turn the cart around and complain when I realize he never charged me for the tomatoes.  In my estimation, I’m about even.  It’s time to head home as grocery shopping is a little too exciting tonight.


The Grocery Store

The Grocery Store


About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

4 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    parallel universe math

  2. kriskkaria says:

    Wow, I never thought of that.

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Kris, I almost always see random items sitting on the edge of the belt. They seem so sad to be discarded at the last moment, watching all the other produce go by on their way to a new home.

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