This is the Does This Happen to You report, bringing the fracas on Hwy 18 yesterday direct to you.

Drivers stared as a large pig sauntered down the middle of the highway.  Traffic came to a standstill and the police arrived in 10 minutes.  A search of the area by the police failed to nab the pig and traffic returned to normal.  Officer Monty had this to say “We usually don’t get hogs trotting down the highway, just coons and skunks.  Coons don’t make too much of a mess but skunks make a real stink.”

Our reporter determined to get to the root of this incident, scouring the area herself.  She came upon a farm 4 miles south of the highway.  As she drove up the farmer and his wife appeared.   The reporter inquired about stray pigs.

Farmer Andy said, “They’re not pigs, their hogs.   Angelo wanders off once in a while but I never seen him near the highway. “

Farmer Andy’s wife spoke up, “Angelo was the runt of the litter so we raised him by hand.  At 400 pounds, he’s too big to sit in our lap.  He’s still our baby though. “

Farmer Andy said to his wife, “I told you not to name him Angelo.  He’s turning into a gigolo.”

Farmer Andy’s wife countered, “He’s a grown boy and he’s doing what comes natural.”

At this point, the reporter asked if Angelo was available for an interview.

Farmer Andy’s wife obliged the request by screaming Angelo several times in a high pitched tone.   Angelo sauntered around the corner of the barn.  He asked for a pet from the farmer and his wife and squinted suspiciously at the reporter.

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Boldly the reported asked, “Angelo, was that you on the highway yesterday?”  Looking down, she noticed asphalt on his hooves.  Angelo simply squinted and grunted a few times.  Then he turned and sauntered away, back to barn.

Farmer Andy’s wife apologized, “Sorry, Angelo doesn’t like strangers but he’s not usually that abrupt.”

Our reporter found the suspect but he’s not talking.   She will keep an eye on him, certain the gigolo will return to his wandering ways.

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About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

5 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    so funny. there is no keeping a good gigolo down )

  2. I meant to add, one of the security officers at the courthouse where I used to mediate, was a state trooper. He told me a story once about trying to lasso a horse on I-405 in Redmond. Traffic was all messed up, and he couldn’t catch the horse. Finally, some guy in a pickup truck let him stand in the truck bed, and he was able to get the trooper close enough to lasso the horse. Then the trooper had to walk back along I-405 to get to his patrol car. And then he had to back his patrol car to the previous exit, leaving the horse. He got cheers and cat calls the whole way.

    • kriskkaria says:

      Wow, he’s good with a rope. That’s not easy to corner a panicked horse. There is steer roping on weekends near my parents home and I watched once. Those guys couldn’t rope a steer for anything. After they missed time and time again, I got bored and walked on.

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