A spider caught Jack when he walked into a nearly invisible web last week.  The spider looked Jack in the eye and threw him back.  Fall is on the way or at least the spiders are preparing early this year.

I expect them knocking on our front door any time now.  Open the door and they scamper in.    One chased me across the bed last Sunday.  As I lay in bed watching TV, I noticed movement on my right near my head.  A medium sized spider scurried toward me on the edge of the bed.  I screamed and scurried toward the bottom of the bed.  The spider followed.  My little plastic catch box is at the head of the bed so I can’t catch it.  I blew on it, changing its course, sending it over the edge of the bed.

Jack hates when I kill spiders, that’s why the catch box.  I leave small spiders be, they don’t bother me. But if the spider is larger than my fingertip, look out.  Jack doesn’t trust me around spiders ever since I murdered Beowulf, the very big wolf spider Jack kept in his bathtub. Yeah, he’s Mr. I like Spiders, up to a certain size.    He caught a monster in our closet, calmly took the catch box outside and suddenly rushed back in without the catch box.  The explanation, “I opened the catch box, turned it upside down and no spider fell out.”

My forest spider encounter still makes my skin crawl.  My horse Hawkeye and I sauntered through the forest down a narrow, one horse path, cushioned with pine needles.  It’s a beautiful path for a trot so Hawkeye breaks into a trot.  I didn’t see the web until just before I caught it on my shoulder, swinging the thumb sized spider right onto my back.   I freaked out, screaming.  Well, my scream scared Hawkeye.  He panicked, breaking into a gallop.  Now, a spider is crawling up my back and my horse running away with me.  I pull my shirt off and grab at the reins simultaneously.  I ended up sitting on Hawkeye in the middle of the forest in my bra.  A 1 oz spider bested me and my 1200 lb horse.


Spider Toon


About kriskkaria

Hi, I'm Kris. A narrator, actor, voice actor, and writer. I've impersonated a cat, a prince, a princess, a witch, a madwoman, and a president with my voice and narrated/produced over 40 audiobooks. I narrate and produce an award-winning weekly storytelling podcast showcasing stories from fantastic writers. Visit my IMDB page for stage and screen credits.

2 responses »

  1. ksbeth says:

    this is hilarious!

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