One of my favorite blogs by Paula Calhoun recently received a very long spam message, http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/translation-please/.  Its 5 paragraphs, new subject each paragraph.  I have trouble writing 5 paragraphs on one subject.

 

I ignore my spam messages, but Paula’s experience required I take a peek.  Hmmm, well, I have two sales calls, both SEO stuff.  First is “Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda” I kind of know what they’re talking about but no idea how to fix it.  Second is “This is a comment to the webmaster. Your website: https://doesthishappentoyou.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/mummified-eggs/ is missing out on at least 300 visitors per day. I discovered this page via Google but it was difficult to find as you were not on the first page of search results.”  Wow, I’d love to have 300 visitors a day but then it turns out the comment is from the site which sells traffic.  Promises 10k visitors for just $30 ($29.99) per month and you’ve got 7 days free trial to see if it works.  I automatically round these up.  Come on, it’s really $30 and the whole thing sounds fishy to me.

The last one is the typical sex site offer.  “Do you like it to have an erotic date with a girl, woman, boy or men?”  Well, they covered all the bases didn’t they?  I’m not sure why a blog called Mummified Eggs attracts sex site spam.  Maybe the word “eggs”, a thought I really don’t want to take any further.

My spam sort of makes sense, sales sites throwing their crap against a wall to see what sticks.  Why a spammer writes 5 paragraphs is a mystery.  Maybe they wrote slow code and you need to read the entire story for their virus to work its magic your PC.  Maybe they don’t know which subject will entice you to click on their site, so throw more than one out there.

What do you think? Has a long winded spammer accosted you?

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About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

4 responses »

  1. Kris, I had to laugh when I read your post, but also, about a piece I got today that sent me around then bend. I will probably blog about it, but I’m giving you a preview! As you know, I have never been known for being concise. Logorrhea is a chronic disease with me, and I see no cure coming anytime soon – unless I can actually find an editor to come along and surgically excise my crap! Anyway, this was a piece o’ spam that was a comment on my “Self-Serving Announcement.”:

    “I do consider all of the ideas you have introduced on your post. They are really convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for starters. Could you please lengthen them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.”

    Thanks again for supporting me and my short and snappy blog! Always appreciated! 😆

  2. […] career for me. . .reading spam.) Today I received an honor from one of my favorite blog-friends – Kriskaria of “Does This Happen to You?” (Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so I’m told – and she even announced […]

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