Its 99 degrees and I-5 is packed.  Everyone is headed home from the beach and on the road between Olympia and Tacoma.  For some reason left lane isn’t the fast lane but the slow lane today.  I’m traveling all the way north to Woodinville, so I thought I’d stay to the left.  The slow lane or right lane is buzzing along.  It’s difficult to change lanes so I’m stuck, sweating it out even with the AC on.  In about 3 miles, I come upon a tow truck on the left side of the road with a car loaded on it.  The tow truck driver is standing calmly, partially blocking the left lane, holding the passenger side door open.  As I slowly roll by, I’m treated to his customer’s fat ass sticking in the doorway.  Wonderful, too bad my phone isn’t out so I can snap a picture.

My bad traffic karma bled over into Monday.  I boarded my usual bus in the morning.  Only two stops away from my destination, the bus driver hops out of this seat and faces us.  He yells “Who’s playing that music?  If I can hear it, it’s too loud!”  All the riders in the back of the bus with me glance at one another, wondering what he’s talking about.  I don’t hear any music.  The driver, getting no response, walks to the back of the bus and accuses the guy sitting two seats away from me of playing his music loudly.  I don’t hear this guy’s music.  Getting an unsatisfactory response, the driver marches back to the front of the bus and accuses an overweight greasy looking guy.  Pissed, the guy exits the bus.   This satisfies the driver and we’re off again.

I don’t board the usual bus in the afternoon, as the 30 is so late.  I figure it’s a nice day so I’ll take the bus which drops me off a little short of the transfer point and I’ll walk.  We’re chugging along when the bus driver suddenly remarks, “Hang on”.  He pulls over, stops the bus, and opens the door.  He races over to pick an apple.  He hops back on the bus and we’re on our way again.    Metro is really having an off day.

After exiting this bus, my walk to the next stop is sunny and warm.   The bus I need to get to my final destination, my home, pulls up and the woman ahead of me asks the bus driver if she stops near Sandpoint.  The bus driver says, “Yes, but you’d better take the 71 or 72 because this bus takes the long way around.”  After another minute or two of explanation from the bus driver, while I wait patiently to board, the woman gets on the bus anyway.   As we wind our way through the UW, the bus driver continues to speak loudly.   She seems to be speaking to the entire bus load of people, hoping someone will pipe up and engage her.  She literally shouts, “Did you know it’s 20 degrees cooler than yesterday! “ When she receives no response, she mutters “Well, I think it’s interesting.”

At this point, I’m wondering what sort of drug they slipped into the Metro bus drivers coffee.

Do you have a bad traffic karma story?  I’d love to hear it.



About kriskkaria

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

2 responses »

  1. Honest to god these are the times you start looking for the camera crews. Hahaha! The bus driver trying to make conversation is classic.

  2. kriskkaria says:

    I have a little video camera the size of a postcard, I think I need to start carrying it with me!

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