1. After waking in the morning and hungry or wanting to play, start woofing in low tones.  This will wake your human and alert them to your needs.  At this point, there is no need to move from your comfortable bed.
  2. If your human tells you to “shut up and go back to sleep”, it’s necessary to ramp the woofing to a loud bark.
Wake Up Call!

Wake Up Call!

  1. The human shouting your name is a sign of disobedience and requires your immediate attention.
  2. Get out of your comfortable bed, trot up to the human’s bed and stick your nose in their face or back whichever is facing you.  Then, bat the human’s bed with your paw.
  3. The human will get up.  If you desire to play, grab your toy and walk in front of them.
Get Up!

Get Up!

  1. Lead them to the kitchen, if you’re hungry.
  2. If your brother is blocking your way up the stairs or may be lying in wait at the top of the stairs, bark and howl loudly.  Your human will come quickly and escort you safely past your brother.  Smirk at him on the way by.
The Comfy Spot

The Comfy Spot

  1. These instructions also work if your human is occupied in a sitting or standing position and ignoring your needs.

P.S.  Coming soon a guide to dealing with your obnoxious little brother.

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About Kris Keppeler

Actress, comedian, voice actor and singer, I voice a weekly podcast called Does This Happen to You. Funny compendium of your day's journey.

9 responses »

  1. Too funny. Our dog definitely has us well trained. I bet he’s been researching new tricks to teach us on the Internet!

  2. ksbeth says:

    this sounds so much like my daughters’ m.o.

  3. Ankur Mithal says:

    Don’t have a dog. But I replaced the dog with my children when they were young and it all seems to be so true. They know how to handle adult humans.

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    The amazing thing is that they train us without us even knowing it’s happening!

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